Chapter Five:

I chewed on my bottom lip as I nervously made my way to my English lesson. I hid my face beneathe in the hood of my sweatshirt as I walked through the corridors of Fountain Falls high. I was giddy,nervous, excited and my palms were getting sweaty as I remembered that Demetri is in my English class. I spent hours getting dressed this morning, I even straigtened my hair and wore makeup.
I stepped into the classroom still nervous and excited about seeing Demetri but all my happiness drained when I saw him perched on Ashley's desk and whispering in her ears. I gulped and stared at tyhem with pain in my eyes, it was like I could not only feel the sinking and crashing feeling of my heart but I could hear it.

I tried not to stare as I walked past them; hoping that maybe he'd notice me, the girl that was at his house on saturday, the one that he offered his T-shirt but he just ignores me and remained perched on her desk. I took my seat and watched from the corner of my eye as he leaned over and kiss her. I pressed my lips together and gazed down at my desh, as I tried to not allow the tears that filled my eyes to fall. I reached into my sweatshirt pocket and retrieved my iPod then I stucked the earphones in and cranked up the volume to the loudest it could go. I wanted to block out Ashley's squeals of ''Omg my god'' and her ''aww, you're soo sweet''....Sometimes I wish that I could be numbed, Because when you're numbed and someone screw you over or hurt you, you just shrug your shoulders and carry on like nothings wrong but no matter how hard I try to not care whenever I get hurt, I just can't ignore the burning pain that I feel in my heart.

For one whole hour. I had to sit in English and watched as Demetri passed notes to Ashley and she passed notes to him. Depsite the fact that I was sitting right next to him and he completely ignored me like he doesnt know me.

''Look at her, All over him'' Zoey said annoyingly

Before even looking, I knew who they were talking about. It was what everyone was talking about The school's hottest new couple ''Demetri & Ashley''. I sighed annoyingly and got up from the lunch table them stormed out of the crowded cafeteria; deciding that I've heard enough from Demetri and Ashley. I left the cafetria and headed for my car in the parking  lot. The plan was that I'd go home and hole myself up in my room.

''Leaving so soon'' A voice from behind me said

I already knew who it was so without turning around or anything, I carried on walking.

''So you're giving me the silent treatment now, Huh?'' he asked

I sighed annoyingly before going into my car then turned around to find Demetri standing behind me dressed in, a black T-shirt, black leather jacket, black trouser and in a sleek black, motorcycle boots. He had his hans in his pocket and was gazing at me.

''I suppose'' I said with a shrug

''may I ask you why?''

''Why don't you ask yourself that question?''

''Okay then. ermmm.. Demetri what did you do to Anna?....Sorry but Demetri doesn't know the answer'' He said with a laugh.

''You're not funny'' I said seriously

''C'mon, it's funny but seriously. What did I do?''

''Look, dude haven't you got  girlfriend to go back to?'' I rolled my eyes

''Girlfriend?'' He laughed

I stood still staring at him angrily with my arms crossed, waiting for an explanation.

''Ashley is not my girlfriend, I mean... she's hot and everything but she's not my type''

''and who is your type?.....'' I asked then he stared at me with eyebrows raised and a smile across his face ''Not that i care'' I finally added.

''I don't know.. I guess whoever sails my boat'' He said

''You're such a jerk'' I said then reached over to open the door of my car then he called out from behind me

''Wait''

''What?''

''Please just explain to me what I've done'' He said; staring at me with pleading eyes

''Why should I? I don't sail your boat so it doesnt matter what you've done''

''You do sail my boat'' He said, not looking at me

''Oh'' I whispered

''Well this is awkard'' I said looking around and trying to not make eye contact with him.

''Can you tell me what i've done now? Please?''

I sighed and looked at him, His gorgeous black hair fall and slightly covered his right eye and his perfectly shaped soft pink lips....

''Well, It's just that one minute you're all over me and you make me feel so important then the next.... you're off with some other girl; making me feels stupid and dumb for believing that you might have actually liked me'' I said fast

''I do like you. It's just that I suck''

''No you don't'' I whispered; without looking at him

''Yes I do. I suck at love. I don't know how to express my feelings to you, So I guess that by flirting with Ashley it would make you jealous and bring you closer to me but I ended up hurting you and thats the last thing that I ever wanted''

I gazed at him smiling then he was about to say something else but I reached over and grabbed him then pressed my lips against his. I kissed him and crushed his body against mines... I pulled away from him and looked him right in the eye ''Well I guess your plan didnt work... You didnt push me away''

He smiled and then pressed his lips against mines. He pulled away and took my by the hand and we headed towards school, he walked me to my lesson then waited until I was inside then he headed off to his. I walked into my science lesson and closed the door behind me, the door made a banging sound and all of my classmates turned around to look at me.

''You're late! Grab a textbook and try to catch up'' Mr Douglas said

I didnt say anything as I made my way over to my usual seat and retrieved my pen, pencil, textbook and notebook. Katy was sitting right beside me, I looked over at her and smiled, she just pressed her lips together and turned to look at what Mr Douglas has written on the board. After the lesson had finished and Katy and I were making our way to the car park. I decided to atleast try and re-kindle our friendship because I needed her and I spent years pushing her away because I was feeling so guilty about the accident but now I needed her more than I  needed anyone else.

''So, I was thinking that we could errrrr go to the cinema together. there's this new movie called ''The death and life of charlie st cloud'' I said

''You hate the cinemas'' She said; without looking at me

''Yeah, well I like it now'' I lied

''Well I can't, I'm booked for the week.''

''Booked?'' I asked confused

''Today, I have to go uptown with Zoey, Tuesday, I'm going to Jamie's soccer game, Mum's literally forcing me to go. Wednesday Zoey and I are going shopping, Thursday... Zoey and I are having a sleepover at an hotel with Matt and David then on friday I have a party to attend''

''WOW!'' I said

''Yeah....''

''Well, we could go next week''

''I guess'' she said

''So, How's Josh'' I asked, trying to star another conversation.

''ARGH..../ do not even mention his name'' She rolled my eyes

''What happened?''

''He hated Zoey...'' She said with a sigh ''And I don't hate boys that hate my friends and anyways Zoey thought I could do better and she's right because David is awesome''

''Sorry to hear'' I whispered

She stopped and turned to look at me ''Sory for what? It's not your fault''

''I know but I know how mu---'' Before I could finish, Zoey cut me off

''There you are'' She said grabbing Katy by the arm

''Here I am'' Katy said

''What are you doing?'' Zoey asked then turned to look at me and rolled her eyes

''I was telling Anna about Jo---''

''Don't care'' Zoey said cutting Katy off

''We have to go NOW!'' Zoey said then grabbed Katy by the arm and walked off with her

''I'll call you'' I called out

Katy threw her hand up and said bye then went in Zoey's car and they drove off together.

When I reached home, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water then went to my father's office. I stood at the door; staring at my father, his computer was on and he was staring at a picture of my mum. I cleared my throat and then he quickly clicked out of the picture.

''You scared me'' He said, not looking at me

''Dad, it's okay'' I whispered

''What? I'm fine. I was just ermmm cleaning my computer and I came across the picture''

''yeah'' I said rolling my eyes

''So, errm... how was school?'' He asked and I could hear the cracking in his voice and I knew that he wanted to cry and I was hoping that he could and maybe he'd open up to me about how he feel about the accident. Instead of covering it up and holing himself up in his office. He hasn't slept in the room since the accident, he sleeps in his office....

''It was fine'' I said

A small teardrop trickled down his face and he reached over and pinched his eyes together..... then wiped it away and turned to look at me

''Allergies'' he lied

''Okay'' I whispered ''Well, I'm going upstairs''

''okay'' He said with a smile and I could see the hurt in his face, I could see that it took every strength in his body for him to fake that smile.

I left his office and headed up to my room, As I was climbing the tears to my room. I could hear sobs coming from my father's office..... I ran up the stairs and closed the door behind me. I didnt want to hear him crying, I wanted him to man up and be my dad. I wanted him to tell me how he feel, talk to me and not shut down..... I knew that I also pushed him away but he pushed me away more and now it's too late to fill the gap between us