Chapter 7

Bang,Bang,Bang.....Someone was banging on my bedroom door, I ignored it and continued shoving my books down my bag angrily. I hadn't slept at all lastnight and woke up with a terrible headache and my whole body was in pain...but I still decided that I was going to school because I didnt want to be in the same environment with my dad and I wanted to go to school to see Demetri, I had this weird feeling that he'd show up out of the blue and reassured me that everything was okay and maybe something normal for once would start happening in my life. The banging on my bedroom door continued but I ignored it, I dragged a random sweatshirt from my closet and dragged it on then brushed my hair back in a ponytail and yanked the sweatshirt hood over my head, I slunged my bag over my shoulders and grabbed my iPod off the bed then oepened my room door to find my father standing there looking at me.....

''What?'' I asked confused, I pushed passed him and headed downstairs and into the kitchen. He followed behind me  but I ignored him as I reached into the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water.

''You do know what tonight is right?'' He asked as he waited for me to respond on whether or not I remembered about the whole theraphy thing but after spending the whole night thinking about it. It was the last thing I wanted to think about, the last thing I wanted to talk about and IF i was supposed to talk about it, Dad was not the person I wanted to talk about it with.

''How could I forget?'' I rolled my eyes and sighed in frustration

''Anna, i'm doing this for you, Okay.''

''Yeah'' I said Scarcasitcally ''Maybe next time, you could push me off a cliff. I mean, you'll be doing that for me right?''

He sighed and pinched his eyes together then looked at me ''Look.....'' Before he could say anything I rolled my eyes and left the house for school, without saying another word to him.

I pulled up into the schools parking lot and took a deep breath in as I stepped out of my car. My heart started racing as I walked through the school's parking lot; scanning my eyes over the cars that were parked but Demetri's car was no where in sigh and the usual place where he parked his car was empty. I looked down and walked into school, went to my locker and put my books in and took out the ones I needed for photography.

''ooo, Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning'' Zoey teased. I ignored her as I closed my locker door and zipped my bag up.

Katy was standing by her locker and Zoey was leaning on the locker between Katy's locker and mines. She had a mulit-coloured candy strip in her mouth and she was looking at me. Katy didnt even turn to look at me, she just continued whatever she was doing in her locker.

''Okay. Look. There's a party at my house tonight, you can come if you want'' She said, and the way she said it made it sounded as if she was being funny or was just trying to be nice.

''No thank you'' I said as I faked a smile

''Well, The doors always open'' She said as she took the last bite of her candy strip

She groaned ''KATY!. what the hell are you doing in your locker? Let's go!!!!!''

''I'm looking for my stupid lip gloss...''

''I'll get you a new one, Lets go before they close the gates''

And just like I thought she would, Katy closed her locker door and followed behind Zoey like a little puppy dog. She didnt say anything to me as she walked hand in hand with Zoey, I rolled my eyes and walked off to my lesson which I was already late to. I stepped into my photogrpahy class feeling completely drained and aching, My head was throbbing and my whole body was aching. I took my seat and tried to concetrate on the lesson but I couldnt help feeling lonely and worried about where Demetri might be.

After the teacher Helen had given us the instructions of what to do, I still sat seated in my seat as everyone got into their pairs that they have been placed in but I had no interest in whatever was going on around me so I stayed  seated....

''Anna?'' Someone said with a british accent....

I Ignored the voice coming from over me and focused on my breathing with my eyes closed. ''Really Sorry to bother you but...''

''What?'' I finally said frustrated

''Hi, I'm Aiden'' A voice said

''Hi...Goodbye'' I said without looking at him

''We've been paired together as partners''

''Great'' I said to myself

I turned to face Aiden and there was a pale faced boy with light brown eyes and blonde hair looking at me. ''Sorry about that, I was just ermmm............''

''No Need for an explanation'' He smiled

''Okay, well ermmmm we...ermmm'' I laughed and the tears that were in my eyes were becoming more visible and a small teardrop fell from the right side corner of my right eye.... I laughed and turned away from Aiden...

''Sorry, It must be the ermmm... dust or something'' I said laughing to ease the tension

He just smiled at me, I looked away from him as new tears fell from my eyes and I had to constantly wipe them away and apoligze for each one like an idiot.


It's lunch time now and still no sign of Demetri. I finally reached into my pocket and typed the text ''I miss you......'' but deleted it after I realised that I didnt even have his number because he never gave it to me, I didnt know anything about him and it was like I was inlove with a stranger. Once again I felt like crying as I sat alone in the cafteria with a tray of untouched food infront of me.

''We all cry, you know?'' Someone said

I laughed with tears in my eyes ''Yeah...'' I said looking down at my mobile phone

''Tell me what I have to do, to make you smile''

''Nothing'' I said

''hmmm, well i guess, I'll just have to figure it out myself, haven't I?'' Aiden asked

I looked up at him ''Why are you being so nice?'' I asked

''New boy. Moved to a new country, trying to make some friends..............do you see where i'm going with this?'' He asked

I laughed ''Yeah, I see it'' I said

''Why don't we start over, since we didnt get off at a right start this morning''

''Okay'' I smiled

''I'm Aiden'' He smiled

''Anna''

''It's a pleasure to meet you Anna''

''This is so weird'' I laughed

''Ssshhh.. Don't spoil the game'' He laughed

I laughed. Aiden was adorable, I had to admit it. He made me smile today but it didnt take away the pain I felt from Demetri's absence. In English, I prayed that he'd show up and everything I heard the classroom door open and someone came in, I'd feel my hear racing fast and I'd turn around; wishing that he'd be there but he wouldnt be there. As soon as English ended I got into my car and went straight home where my dad and Coleen was waiting for me.

I opened the front door of my house and headed for the stairs. ''ANNA'' Coleen called out from behind me

''What?'' I sighed

''Come, we're leaving for the theraphist now'' She said

''WE? and I thought it was at 8''

''Yes but it's out of town and we have to leave now if we want to beat that evening traffic''

''Firstly, Why couldnt we just go to one of those crappy theraphist in Miderm and secondly what do you mean by We? I thought this was only for my dad and I''

''Yes it is for your dad and you but He asked me to come along with him, for support. And we didnt want any theraphist that was based in fountain falls because they know your situation so they'll be symphatetic towards you and we don't want now, do we?''

''Support? He has Me?!!'' I shouted

''I wasn't saying he hasn't got you. He asked me to come along so I agreed. Now are you ready to go?''

I rolled my eyes at her and went back down the stairs and we all climbed into my dad's car and took off for the therapist. The journey to the theraphist took about 2 hours, when we finally reached, I got out of the car and slammed it behind meand followed behind my dad and coleen inside the building. As we checked in and the lady at the reception told us what room to go to, I felt nervous and scared as my dad reached for the door handle of the theraphist's door.....

''Dad...'' I whispered, looking at him with panicky eyes

''Honey,  it's fine....''

''I don't want to do it..''

''Come on, Anna, you're a big girl now'' Coleen said and she sounded frustrated

''i wasn't talking to you'' I snapped at her

''Look, Sweetie. if you don't like it, today, we won't ever have to come back, Just do this for me please?''

I nodded ''Yeah and maybe we should just go in. Not her'' I said

My dad looked over at coleen apologetically, she faked a smile and said ''No worries, I'll wait here''

We walked into the theraphist office, there was a very skinny guy with light brown hair sitting around a desk, he smiled when he saw us. ''Anna and Dave?'' He asked

''yeah'' Dad said

''Tale a seat'' the theraphist ordered

''Hi, I'm Gerry, and I just want you guys to know that I am not like any othet theraphist. I actually do care And i promise to make this process goes as smoothly as possible'' He smiled

I scoffed ''How many people have you told that before?''

He ignored my comment and then reached into his cupboard and took out a big file then gave some sheets to my dad for him to sign. I looked around the office, there were pictures of Gerry with other people and they're were awards and a huge painting of a man and a woman sitting on the sunlit beach.

''Okay, so Dave, we'll start with you....''

''Well Ermm'' My father cleared his throat ''My wife and eldest daughter died in a car accident two years ago, and let's just cut a long story short. Things havent been the same since then'' He said uncomfortably

''And how has things changed? How is it not the same?''

''ahh where do we start.... well firstly there's like this huge distance between Anna and I, it's like we're two strangers living together and we don't talk about how we feel....''

''And how was your relationship with Anna before the accident?''

''Normal, like any fahter and daughter..''

''Normal as in arguements...? Be more specific Please'' Gerry said

''Well actually I wouldnt call it normal because we were pretty close actually, she was closer to me than she was to her mother''

''Okay and have you been trying to rekindle the relationship?''

''Yeah, I try to do things like pizza night. Her mum used to do that, I try making plans for us outside the house to get her out the house because it's like she's nailed inside the house. She gets out for school and then comes home and that's it''

I looked over at my father feeling betrayed and angry, he didnt even turn to look at me.

''Okay and Anna, have you got anything to say?''

''Nope'' I said

''How do you feel about what your father has just said?''

I shrugged my shoulders

''Do you feel the same''

''No'' I said

''Can you tell me how you felt that night you found out about the accident?''

''Erm.. she was invovled in the accident'' My father corrected the theraphist

''Oh, My mistake. so you survived the accident, well that must have been hard to deal with right? How does it make you feel to know that they're gone and you're still alive''

''I don't know. Why don't you tell me?'' I said looking Gerry right in the eye

''Anna, this isn't helping the situation. In order for me to help you, you need to open up to me. i understand how you feel..I----''

''NO! you don't understand how I feel, You don't give a fuck about How i feel'' I shouted then got up off the chair and left the room.


''ANNA'' Coleen called out from behind me

I ignored her and carried on running, I just wanted to get away from it all.....

Chapter 6

I woke up and got dressed for school then went down into the kitchen where my father was sitting down having breakfast. ''Morning'' I whispered as I walked over to the refrigerator.

''I saved you a pancake'' My father said

''Thanks'' I smiled then took the pancake and began to munch it down.

''Listen, About lastnight''

''It's okay dad, You don't have to talk about it'' I said as I took another bite of my pancake

''We do honey, Look. One of my work colleagues Coleen thinks that we should both see a theraphist together''

I stopped chewing on my pancake and looked up at him ''You're joking right?''

''Look Anna, we have to talk to someone about this'' He said

''NO! Dad No! Okay! we can talk to eachother. We don't need some stupid people looking down at us and trying to help us! we're FINE!, we don't need help'' I screamed at him

''It's whats best for us, it's whats best for you.. Okay. I'm a mess Anna and you need a healthy parent. This could really help us''

''I'm fine. We're FINE!''

''Let's just go and see what it's like, Okay. If you don't like it, We'll stop. But we have to do something to fill the distance between us''

''Distance?!'' I laughed

''The decisons been made. and that's final, we have an appointment with the therapist tomorrow at 6pm'' He said strictly giving me that look which showed that he was serious.

''Well, I'm not going'' I said childishly then I grabbed my bag off the ground and left the house. I climbed into my car and drove off.

I was angry at the fact that he had the nerves to talk about a theraphist when we could just discuss it between eachother, We didnt need anyone else interferring and the last thing I wanted to do was to sit down with a stranger and tell them how I felt, All they would do is make up some shit to try and help me because they end up getting paid for it, Why tell them how I feel when they don't even care, they're strangers to you and either way they get paid.

I pulled up in the school's parking lot and got out. I went to my locker and slammed my books down and retrieved the ones I needed for period 1.

''Wow, someone's in a bad mood'' Katy laughed

''Argh..!!'' I said as I tried to catch my breath

''What's wrong?'' she asked and she didnt even sound like she cared

''It's my dad, He booked us for this errr....Theraphist and I just think it's stupid'' I sighed

''Maybe it's a good thing''

''What's that supposed to mean?'' I asked, crossing my arms and staring at her angrily

''You're a mess dude'' She said

I stared at her mouth opened wide and not having anything to say, She smiled and walked off leaving me standing there with tears in my eyes. I expected her to agree with me and to say something to comfort me or something but instead she just made it worse. I licked my lips and took a deep breath in; trying to not allow the tears that filled my eyes to fall.... I went to my lesson; hoping that Demetri would show up and make my day better but he didnt show up. I sat still in the class filled with students who were enaged in the normal world but all I wanted to do was to runaway and hide in the dark.

Lunch time came and still no Demetri. ''He's gone'' I thought to myself, he couldnt face me so he left... I thought of possible explanations as to why he isnt in school but all I could do was blame myself for his absence and I just felt worse and worse. I sat at the empty canteen table beside the rubbish bin with my face in my hands...

''Freak'' someone said as they walked pass me...

I ignored them and reamined seated then when the bell rang for period 5. I went to my science lessson, Mr Donovan paired us in groups and I got placed with Katy. She rolled her eyes at me and then put her hands up

''Yes Katy'' Mr Donovan asked annoyed

''Sir, Can I please have a different partner?''

''What is wrong with the partner you're paired with?''

''Sir, if you want me to do well the change my partner''

''That wasn't what I asked you'' Mr donovan said

''I paired you with Anna, you guys have been working together on every single assignment''

''Yes... But....''

''No BUTS!.. I'm the teacher, I make the decisons. NOT YOU''

''Okay, no need to get all worked up about it'' She said as she walked over to my table and took a seat beside me

She didnt say anything to me as she sat there. We sat at the table doing our seperate things for the whole lesson. She was on her blackberry doing whatever and I was sitting there thinking about Dmeetri and worried that something might have happened to him but most of all I was worried that he might have just got up and left because he's had enough of me.

''There goes your happiness'' I thought to myself as I made my way to my car.

I got in my car and made my way home, I wanted to go to Demetri's house but I didnt. I ended up going home, when I reached home, I slammed the door behind me and was heading up the stairs when I heard a woman's laugh coming from the kitchen. For a second I thought that it might be Mum, Maybe she's back but all the thoughts of her coming back drained when I saw a blonde woman leaning over the stove mixing something in the pot. I cleared my throat and then my dad looked up at me.

''Oooh, Anna, This is errr..............'' Before he could say anything, the blonde lady walked over to me and said ''I'm Coleen'' She smiled and put her arm towars me for me to shake it

I just smiled and stared at her; refusing to touch her. ''She's the one I was telling you about this morning'' My father said

I didnt look at him, I continued staring at Coleen, ''So you're the one that told my dad about that theraphist thing''

''Anna'' My father whispered warningly

''Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you and don't worry things will be normal around here again'' She smiled

''I made dinner, go up and do your homework then I'll call you down when it's finished''

I stared at her mout opened wide then looked over at my father who was just looking at me like nothing's wrong. ''I'm not a baby, I don't need to go up and do ''Homework'' and things are normal around here, The only thing not normal is you being here'' I said; glaring at her

''Anna!!'' Dad called out

''I'm so sorry Coleen'' He said

''It's okay, It's part of the grief'' she said

I rolled my eyes, ''Anna, Look. Sweetheart, I get it. I understand how you feel, Okay? and that is why I'm here to help you?''

I scoffed ''Help me?! I don't need your help. Thank you very much!''

''And we don't need you cooking for us or coming here and telling me what to do''

''ANNA!!!'' Dad shouted at me

Coleen jumped up scariedly at the sound of my dad's voice but it didnt scare at me. I rolled my eyes and turned around and head up to my room then slammed my door behind me. I went to my bathroom and even though Demetri said that I'd never have to cut myself again, he didnt make me promise and it's not like he was here now to comfort me so I turned to the razor blade. I slit it across my wrist and watched as blood poured out.................